Do you ever wonder if what you’re doing is worth it? The time commitment, the sacrifice, the uncertainty; Will it all pan out the way I imagine it to? Am I capable of adjusting to the inevitable failures and obstacles that will present themselves to me?

I mentioned in the last post that I am undergoing a career shift.

After graduating high school, I knew that I wanted to study and work within the tech industry. Out of high school, I enrolled at a local university majoring in computer science. It took me a semester and a half to realize, “Hmm, maybe this isn’t what I thought it would be.” I then dropped out of school and worked full-time for a year.

At that job, I had a colleague of mine, a hard-working, dedicated, no-excuses kind of guy. He was already retired and wanted to have a part-time job to keep himself busy and for a little extra pocket change. Being the youngest on my team, I naturally goofed around here and there and maybe chatted more than I should have. The older gentleman, let’s call him Joe, would make sure to point out what I was doing. I eventually got into the groove of things, and Joe and I became closer. A few months later, I transferred departments. I would still see Joe every night our shifts overlapped for an hour or two, so we still got a chance to discuss things and work together. After working at this job for nearly a year, Joe and I were chatting and he asked me, “Why are you still here?” At first, I didn’t know what to say so I just said I needed the money. He looked at me in the eyes and told me I was wasting my potential. I am a smart guy, graduating high school with top marks simultaneously with my associate’s degree. I was accepted into my dream school for computer science only to drop out to work in a warehouse.

Joe saw something in me that I didn’t. His years of experience and wisdom allowed him to see what I could not. I remember telling him on my last week working that job that I was accepted into the university again and I will be pursuing my degree in accounting. Was this what I truly wanted? At the time, yes. It gave me purpose. It gave me something to work towards.

I have since graduated with my bachelor’s degree in management with a specialization in accounting, landed an accounting internship, flew across the country to work and learn… learn that this is something that I absolutely despise doing. Work without passion is hell, and I had zero passion for this line of work.

I have been lost for the past few months after being laid off from my previous job (unrelated to accounting or my goals, just a job to pay for my schooling and keep me fed). I have been emotionally and mentally wandering, trying to find those pieces of myself that can guide me to who I am, what I want, and I just had to look back and remember where I came from.

I have chosen a hard pivot from accounting to the tech world. Having little to no formal education, no work experience in the field, I have decided to try my best to break into the cybersecurity field. This may seem like a strange pivot, maybe not, but for the first time in many years, I am excited to pursue this. I am excited and passionate about learning and growing in this field.

It will be a difficult journey, but I know I am not alone. Who knows what will happen. The only thing that I know that I am in control of is how I react to events, to those roadblocks and obstacles.

I don’t know what I’m doing, and I don’t think many people do. We stravaig through life in hopes that we can find the answers to the unanswerable.

Remain present, keep calm, everything will be just fine.